Single Life Focus (or Married)
Whether you plan to get married one day or not, one of the most important things you can do while single is to set Godly priorities and focuses. This is the time to establish the habits you want to maintain for the rest of your life.
Some of you may know me personally, and be thinking, “What does the married guy know about single life? He doesn’t know how hard it is to be single!” Let me respond in two parts.
First, Yes I am married (have been for over 11 years as of this writing), and I struggled for many years in my marriage because I had not properly prepared while single for the life that would follow once I was married. Once I was married all the daily “stuff” of married life took over and I lost focus on my true duties as a husband. The priorities you set as a single person will help define your marriage attitude and response to your spouse and God.
Second, I have counseled, observed, prayed for, and cried for more than a few couples and singles over the years and while doing so, most of the problems in early marriage come down to improper perceptions and sin brought in from their time being single. Whether it be sexual sin, pride, or just a complete lack of understanding God. I pray that this will find a heart receptive to God’s will and the whisperings of the Holy Spirit.
While you are single you should be focused on the person of God. It’s a time to build you relationship with Jesus, and hear His voice. Your understanding of the word will grow, your faith will mature further, and you learn to better follow the Holy Spirit’s direction in your life. If you train yourself to spend time with him as a single, then you will bring that piety, consistency, and strong foundation of those habits to your marriage.
On top of this time spent in study and relationship, you should maintain a constant attitude of prayer all day, in all things you do. This doesn’t mean walking around talking to your self with your hands up, like some people seem to think. This means nothing more than keeping the communication lines open with the Holy Spirit and always being aware of his presence and movement in your life.
[bibleblock]Ephesians 6:18[/bibleblock]
You might be thanking Him, praising Him, worshiping Him, repenting, seeking wisdom on a matter, or asking for needs and desires in your life. Prayer is to permeate your life as a universal practice, as seen by the use of “all” four times in this verse: at all times . . . with all prayer . . . with all perseverance . . . for all the saints. Prayer in the Spirit is a form of worship (John 4:23-24) enabled by the Spirit of God, who intercedes on behalf of the person who prays (Rom. 8:26-27).
When your spiritual priorities are established, it is easier to get your natural life to line up. Your job, ministry, free time, higher education, social life and so on become easier to manage when your relationship with God is strong. It also goes without saying that you will find it much easier to recognize your mate when he or she comes along if you are in tune with the Spirit of God.
This closeness with God will help you find your sufficiency without a mate and make you less demanding on your mate if you do marry. The only one you need is Christ, once you can come to grips with that realization you will have a different outlook. Whether you are single or married, He has already provided you with all the gifts, power, wisdom, and knowledge you need to live a successful life.
One thing to remember is that being single or married does not change the devil’s view of you. One will not have more or less trouble than the other, and both will have to deal with the same temptations.
If singles get their eyes off the Lord, they often begin to feel lonely, yearning for a mate. They think, “If I were married, I wouldn’t have to sit alone in church or in restaurants.” But when married people get their eyes off of the Lord and His promises, they feel lonely too. Even in a house full. A married person can be having dinner with their spouse and children and sill fell like something is missing.
The married person and the single person may even be sitting in the same restaurant, looking at each other, each thinking the other is happy. The grass always looks greener on the other side when you are lonely. But they both have the exact same problem! They have both turned away from the only One who can make them complete.
Some of you are sitting there probably thinking, “But I go to church, I go to singles retreats, I go to meetings, I’m always doing something for God? I still don’t feel complete.” Maybe you need to step back and strip away all the fluff and focus on him. Stop being selfish thinking that you going to church, retreats, and meeting is for Him. It’s for you and you’re trying to fill that void with stuff that looks like Him, but isn’t Him.
He will never leave you or forsake you (Hebrews 13:5). You can do all things through Him (Phil 4:13).
If you are feeling lonely, spend some time with Jesus by studying his word and praying in private.
This is why it is important to set priorities. Spending time with the Lord must be number one. Anytime any believer feels lonely, empty, frustrated, bored, or restless – these are all indications that they are not spending enough time in prayer and in God’s Word.
Stability and joy are not acquired in your profession or business, but in fellowship with the Lord. The economy has it’s up and downs. Your job may be gone tomorrow, but Jesus is never gone. Remember that your business provides finances, not only for you to live, but also to fund the work of the ministry. You are in your profession for two reasons: God has given you the gift to do the work you do well, and your excellence and stability are a witness to help be a witness to your co-workers without saying a word to them.
The Giver of this gift or business is the only One you can always rely on, not the gift or the business itself.
[bibleblock]1 Cor 7:32[/bibleblock]
Paul declares to singles, “Don’t worry about anything because Jesus is everything in every area of your life.” Whatever your current goal or desire to marry or not, you will be complete through you relationship with Him. As you desire to truly please Him, He will fulfill your life.
