In Memory of my Son Jason Gerald Britton
My first-born son went to be with the Lord on April 15th, 2008. It has been almost 2 years and yet the pain never fades. You just learn to get by with it. I had trouble coming up with something better to post than my service I read as I officiated my own son’s funeral. I read a shorter version of this on the day of his burial as I wasn’t sure I could get through it all. I wanted to post the full version I had put together.
During the last few days as each of us considered the untimely death of baby Jason our hearts have been full of questions – chief amongst them being “how did this happen?” and “why did this happen?” This has been upon the lips of many of you who are here today – and indeed they have been heard throughout our community.
We are not here today to answer these questions – even if we could. Rather we are here to mourn – to mourn and to commend Jason into God’s care, and to ask God to help us.
In the most beautiful of gardens, even those tended by the most skillful of botanists, there is an occasional rose that buds, but never opens. In all respects the rose is like all the others, but something keeps it from blooming. It fades away – or disappears – without having reached maturity.
What happens in nature’s garden happens once in a while also in the garden of God’s human family. A baby is born, beautiful, precious, but fails to come to its rightful unfolding. This child, like the bud that never fully opens, is gathered back into God’s heavenly garden of souls – where all imperfections are made perfect; all injustices made right; all mysteries are explained; and all sorrows turned to happiness.
Today we mourn our loss of such a child. We weep, just as Jesus himself wept at the death of his friend Lazarus. Even if we knew the answers to the questions that rise so naturally to our hearts and minds at times like this, there still would be no adequate explanation for this loss. It is painful. And I believe it is also painful to God, who created the world intending for it to be perfect. As Jesus himself said: “So it is not the will of my Father who is in heaven that one of these little ones should perish.”
And, as promised to us by God through the prophet Isaiah, there will come a time when there is a new heaven and a new earth – a time when never again will there be in it an infant who lives but a few days, or an old man who does not live out his years – a time so glorious in its presence that a person who dies at a hundred will be thought a mere youth; and they who fail to reach a hundred will be considered accursed. But this is not yet that time.
There is a special place in the heart of God and amongst the angels for the little ones of this world just as there is a special place in our hearts today for Jason. And so we weep at what has happened. And so too – God weeps with us.
What can be said that might ease the pain or assuage the grief that all of us feel today? There isn’t much one can say that will help. One can express our sympathy and sorrow. One can offer words of love, care and concern. One can say we will pray for you. But other than that one doesn’t know what to say about these things. Maybe it is because people don’t know what to say that they sometimes say the wrong things.
Some people may say that Jason’s death at this time was God’s will. Don’t believe them. The God we worship, the God who watches over us, doesn’t will the death of babies or the pain of their parents. Many, many things that happen in this world are not the will of God. That is part of the price of the freedom we have been given by God.
Some people may say to you that God wanted Jason in heaven with him. While I am confident God has welcomed Jason into his kingdom, I am sure God did not want him to die right now so that He could have him there. I am sure the people who say things like this say them with a desire to comfort. They want to say something that will help. Bless them for it – but know that we are faced with a mystery – the mystery of life – and of death – in which there are no easy answers.
“What” then, “are we to say to these things?” What St. Paul answers is, “If God is for us, who is against us?” He who did not withhold his own Son, but gave him up for all of us, will he not with him also give us everything else?” It is important to know that God is for us. God did not do this to us. God did not will Jason’s death or our pain. But God is with us in the midst of it all and will help us through it. God is for us. What is more, God gave up his own son for us all. God understands our pain. God had a son who died also. Jesus died on the cross for us. Now, you may think, “Sure, but Jesus rose from the dead.” Well, because Jesus rose to new life you can be confident that Jason has new life also, one that can never be snatched away from his – or from us.
Today – in our grief – know – as your father said some days ago now – there is another soul in heaven. Cling to that hope – that promise of our God – and allow your tears to wash away the pain in the days and months to come.
Heavenly Father, whose Son Jesus Christ did take little children into his arms and bless them; we thank you that you gave Jason to us, even for a brief time; and we thank you that you caused our hearts to love his. We praise and bless you for the assurance that you have received him to yourself, and that you will keep him now and always. O God, whose compassion never fails; we commend to you those who mourn. We remember too all the family members who have been denied the joy of seeing Jason blossom and grow in our midst. Grant unto them, and all of us who weep today, your strength – and uphold them with a living hope. May the words of Jesus, which reveal his love for little children, speak peace to their troubled hearts. Make them know that the child who has been taken out of their sight is with you, safe in your eternal care, with all suffering passed. May they also have assurance in their hearts that in your own good time they will see him again. This we ask in the name of Jesus. Amen
